when will this end

Everyday is a fight

With her inner self

Forcing herself to be optimistic

But deep inside

She feels sick

Tired of pretending


She forgot about herself

Putting the others above herself

"I don't really matter,"

She told herself everyday


She abandoned her feelings

By bottling them up

She just smiles

To cover it up


She wants to speak up

But she's afraid

Afraid of people ignoring her


"You have no right to say that,"

"We have it worst than you,"

"You have no idea how we feel."


She feels lonely

But being with people scares her

Where does she belongs to

She wants to run away

She wants to disappear


Afraid of dying

But living is tiring


She's suffering


When will all of this end?


 @2.23 am / 12.22.2020

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Dah habis baca? Arigatou gozaimasuuu! Eh, nak komen? Boleh, tapi jangan kasar-kasar ya? Trimasss